"我給的愛 , 要不回來
你說過的話 , 我不曾忘記
你卻離開 . . ."

"When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which was opened for us."

-Alexander Graham Bell

"Love is being able to live and thrive apart, but choosing to be together. You know another person loves you when he is willing to subordinate his personal plans, desires, and agenda to the good of the relationship."

Perhaps that's all it was. Even though what he felt was real, he was able to walk away because he ultimately chose himself over our relationship...

When you left, a part of me died.
If you only knew how deeply I feel for you...

"Why can't he see what he wants?
He wants the past undone!
Why can't he know what he wants?
His losing battles won.
To have never loved her,
never known how complete a loss can be."

-The Secret Garden

What About Love - Heart

Why can't you see what I see?
Do you really not feel what I feel?

I can't tell you what you're feeling inside
I can't sell you what you don't want to buy
Something's missing and you got to
Look back on your life
You know something here just ain't right

What about love
Don't you want someone to care about you
What about love
Don't let it slip away
What about love
I only want to share it with you
What about love

The love I'm sending
Ain't making it through to your heart...

"When someone in your life crosses your path that leaves you speechless, you just remain dumbfounded and wonder what you did to deserve to be in the presence of someone like that, and you find every opportunity to be a part of that person's life, even if your greatest downfall is your inability to utter words for a love that cannot be described by said words."

Dare to Live

Vivere - Andrea Bocelli

Try looking at tomorrow not yesterday
And all the things you left behind
All those tender words you did not say
The gentle touch you couldn't find

In these days of nameless faces
There is no one truth but only pieces
My life is all I have to give

Dare to live until the very last
Dare to live forget about the past
Dare to live giving something of yourself to others
Even when it seems there's nothing more left to give

Dare to live searching for the ones you love
Dare to live no one but we all
Dare to live until the very last
Your life is all you have to give

"You can't win until you're not afraid to lose."

"Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender."

"Anger, resentment, discontentedness, and frustration are often signs that our needs are not being met. Learn to listen to your anger, frustration, and stress. They are trying to tell you something."

"You just have to trust yourself
don't listen to anyone else
you can ask for an opinion
but you know yourself best."

“You can’t prevent what you can’t predict.”

"If you were truly happy, you would not still be looking..."

“This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime…”

-Bridges of Madison County

“You can’t use the past to fill what’s missing in the present…it’s gone.”

“If you stay clear in purpose and open in heart, you stand a strong chance of getting what you seek, even if it doesn't happen right away.”

A Field of Ostriches

Last night I dreamt that I saw a field of ostriches...

"To see an ostrich in your dream, suggests that you are not facing reality and living in a world of your own. You may be in denial or unwilling to accept a situation. Alternatively, the ostrich can symbolize truth and justice."

The Lesson of Growth

"Growth by nature is painful... you have to learn to let go and leave things behind."

When the pain is so real and the tears fall endlessly, I tell myself that I don't ever want to go through this again. I tell myself that I can't be defeated. If I give in now, I will have to go through this all over again...

A reason, a season, or a lifetime

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person."

Even though we are not together anymore, I still want you in my life...even as just a friend.

Understanding that...

"You can shape or carve a piece of rock to what you want it to be, but you can't change it's composition, what it's made of..."

If this is the right thing then why is it so difficult?

Love is a Choice

"Love is a choice, not a feeling.
Love is something we do, not something that happens to us.

Every moment is an opportunity to choose love.
The heartache begins when we choose to love and our love is rejected, misunderstood, or perhaps most painfully, not reciprocated.

You can only choose to love.
You cannot determine whether someone else will love you.
Love is a choice."

Older But Not Wiser

I may be older but I certainly don't feel wiser. Thinking about some of the mistakes that I've made recently, I wonder if I've learned anything at all...

Everybody's Broken - Bon Jovi

Step into the deep end,
Make yourself at home,
When you wonder why you're breathing,
Know you're not alone,
Its so hard to believe,
Its easier to doubt,
You're trying to hold in,
But you're dying to scream out.

It's ok, to be a little broken,
Everybody's broken, in this life,
It's ok, to feel a little broken,
Everybody's broken, you're alright,
Just keep on going,
It's just life.

"You don't want to spend half your life thinking about a chance you never took..."

Love or Be Loved?

"He who loves more in a relationship is the one that's not in control..."

To love or be loved? How do you continue to love someone if they don't love you back the same way?

If this is for the best, then why is it so difficult?

Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie

It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home...

I've been listening to this song for quite some time, but today for the first time I paid attention to the lyrics...

Umbrella - Rihanna

When the sun shines
We'll shine Together
Told you I'll be here forever
That I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella

You can run into my Arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
(Come into Me)
So Gonna let the rain pour I'll be all you need and more

"You deserve someone who both makes you happy and who doesn't complicate your life..."

Boots

Part I: I was on a tour bus with a bunch of girls. It was night time, and the bus came to a stop. We were free to get off the bus to look around, but I noticed that I wasn't wearing any shoes. I looked everywhere on the bus, but still couldn't find my shoes. I eventually ended up wearing a pair of light blue suede dress shoes that belonged to someone else, and as pretty as these shoes were, they didn't fit me very well.

Part II: I was in a room all by myself, and wearing a dress but no shoes. Suddenly my mom appeared out of nowhere and handed me a pair of orange-brown leather boots. The length of the boots from top to bottom looked disproportionally long, but my mom helped me to put them on and somehow they fit just fine.

Why of course, it's JBJ...

I was in the front row of the audience at a Bon Jovi concert. Completely engrossed in his performance, I suddenly noticed that everyone around me had disappeared. I turned left, turned right, and looked behind me, but there wasn't a single person. I turned back to face the stage, and Jon Bon Jovi was standing right in front of me. After I recovered from the initial shock, I found him to be very friendly, and we talked for awhile. I can't remember what we talked about, except that it was a good conversation. =)

Eventually he had to leave, and I said goodbye. As soon as he left, however, I realized that I had forgotten to get a picture with him. I turned around but it was too late as he was already nowhere in sight. Next thing I know I arrived at the hotel where he was staying. I seemed to know which room he was in, but as I approached his room, I noticed that the entire section of rooms on that floor had been blocked off. It was as if the hallway that lead to his room had been sealed with cement... I tried to go around from the other end of the hallway, but that end was sealed off too...

Room 304

I received a phone call and was informed that I was put on an out of town project. I somehow ended up in an old hotel that felt more like a maze. The walls were white and there was no color anywhere in the hotel. I was given the key to room 304, but I never found the room. The closest I got was to room 306, and then the numbers jumped. The stairway felt more like a fire escape and the hotel in general was in poor condition. The walls were cracked which made me wonder if the building was even stable.

I was supposed to call my Project Manager to get more information on the project and client, but I no longer had his phone number in my cell phone. I went back down to the ground floor of the hotel, and walked outside. The hotel had a backyard which led to another hotel. I went inside of this other hotel and found that it was much nicer, like a Ritz-Carlton. However, it was also somewhat dark - the walls and floor were made of black marble and granite, and the lighting overall was very dim. A lot of brass was used throughout the lobby. I wandered around for a bit, and started thinking that I should just check-in to this hotel instead...

Freeway Entrance

It was a Wednesday morning, and I was on my way to work. As I was driving, I suddenly realized that I was wearing the same outfit that I had worn on Monday. I tried to turn around and head back towards home, but I couldn't find the freeway entrance that went in the correct direction. I kept driving, and eventually saw the freeway sign at the bottom of a waterfall. I was happy to see the sign, but couldn't figure out how to get to the waterfall...

Rocks

I was walking to work, and it was almost lunch time. I thought I'd eat first, and then go to the office. So I sat down at an eatery with 3 other people (friends?), and we ordered. While we were waiting for our food, I suddenly realized that while I had my backpack for work, I didn't have my laptop. My friends said that perhaps I had already dropped it off at work, and so I decided to first go to the office to check. I stood up and walked towards the office, which apparently was located in the building next door. I started walking, but my backpack was so heavy that it weighed me down. I tried to keep walking, but I hardly made any progress. Finally I took off my backpack, and dragged it along on the floor. The backpack was so heavy, almost as if it contained rocks.

Finally, somehow, I arrived at my desk. Someone had left me a note - a message had been etched into the wooden surface of my desk. The person claimed that she was my younger cousin, but I was confused because I didn't have a younger cousin. In her note she said that she had come by to say hi and to see if everything was okay. Meanwhile, a few of my coworkers (who were actually my coworkers in real life) walked past my desk and carried on with their day as usual. I opened my backpack, and my laptop had been with me all along...

Not Dressed For The Occasion

It was early in the morning, and I had just arrived at an event for work. For some reason, however, I was still in my pajamas. Since the event had not yet started, I thought I'd have time to sneak out, go back to my room (apparently I was staying at a hotel nearby), and change. I was standing between rows of chairs that had been set up for the event, which conveniently covered up the fact that I was not in work attire. As I tried to leave people started pouring in, and so I was stuck at this event, in pajamas and slippers...

The Hotel Room

A friend and I were in the lobby of a nice hotel. Apparently we were unhappy about our room and asked to switch. The man at the receptionist desk was not very agreeable, but eventually he gave us the key to a room that was supposed to be an upgrade from our previous room.

We took the elevator up to the top floor (maybe it was the penthouse), and arrived at the door to our room. We opened the door, and in front of us was what seemed like an indoor balcony overlooking the hotel lobby. We stepped onto the balcony, looked to the left, and noticed that our 'room' was comprised of an entire row of balconies that were connected (Think half moon shaped opera house balconies). The first balcony was the living room (furnished with a sofa and coffee table), the next balcony over was the dining room, then the bedroom, and so on. We were confused by this set up, but proceeded to explore each balcony as if we were at an open house.

I drove all night...

This one has come up on multiple occasions...

I'm driving a car (someone else's), and it's dark. Perhaps it's nighttime, or maybe I'm just in a tunnel. In any case, I don't have very good control of the car, and I don't know where I'm going. I keep both hands on the steering wheel, but the car still swerves to the left and then to the right. In the end, I crash straight into a wall and total the car. I open the car door and walk out... completely unharmed.

Variation: From what I can recall, there was only once when I didn't crash, and that was also the only time when I was driving my car.

I'm driving on the freeway, and it's daytime. My hands are on the steering wheel but again I can't seem to control the car. It's raining and the roads are slippery. I try to stay in my lane but my efforts are futile. This time I don't crash, but I don't know if I ever reached my destination (unknown).

Ready - Set - Go!

I was getting ready to run in a race. I'm not sure if I ever knew the distance, but it was a race around a track in a stadium. In preparation, I greased my running shoes. I literally poured cooking oil on to the tips of my shoes, thinking that the oil would help me to run faster. Then this lady came running towards me...

Lady: There you are! I was worried that you weren't here yet!
Me: Why, am I late? I thought the race wasn't for another hour?
Lady: Yes, but I wanted to make sure that you were here and prepared...

When I arrived at the race track, I was informed that the race had been delayed for an hour. I sat around, somewhat nervous but more anxious to get it over with...